his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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