So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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