I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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