Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
