why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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