just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
