Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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