I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
