Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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