Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
This baby is an asshole
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
