are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
