nut hugger
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
