The maid of honor just puked.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
her vagine was all disorganized.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
