I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
