I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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