My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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