My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
