woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
