i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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