walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
it was like eating out sand paper
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
