Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
