It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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