My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
