pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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