i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
