it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Do you have feelings for this penis?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
