That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
