he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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