Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
