12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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