all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
