everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
