Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
