My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
In other news, I just burned my penis
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
