doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
