i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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