well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
