Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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