Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
