Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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