Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
