Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
