I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
