What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
