I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
