well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
