Can i not drive my cunt home
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
