Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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