If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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