Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I need water and some morals
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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