The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
